Worst Live Action Disney 52

THE OBJECTIVE: Watch the 52 worst live action Disney movies, one every week, in 2015.

Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue, Westward Ho, The Wagons!, Johnny Tremain, The Shaggy Dog (1959), Ten Who Dared, Moon Pilot, Bon Voyage!, Son of Flubber, The Misadventures of Merlin Jones, The Monkey’s Uncle, Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N, Monkeys, Go Home!, Never a Dull MomentThe Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The Boatniks, The Million Dollar Duck, The World’s Greatest Athlete, Superdad, Herbie Rides Again, The Shaggy D.A., Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo, The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, Unidentified Flying Oddball, Herbie Goes Bananas, Popeye, The Devil and Max Devlin, Condorman, Trenchcoat, Honey, I Blew Up The Kid, Blank Check, Man of the House, Operation Dumbo Drop, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, That Darn Cat (1997), Mr. Magoo, Meet the Deedles, My Favorite Martian, Inspector Gadget, The Country Bears, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, Herbie: Fully Loaded, The Shaggy Dog (2006), The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, College Road Trip, Underdog, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, High School Musical 3: Senior Year, Hannah Montana: The Movie, Once Upon a Warrior, Zokkomon, Prom, and Into the Woods.

Over the course of 2015 I watched a selection of poorly rated live action Disney movies spanning from 1954 to 2014. Since I watched my films in chronological order, for the first half of the year I was watching rather endearing old flicks that were just shitty enough to slip out of our cultural consciousness. These were, for the most part, enjoyable to watch for their kitschy charm.

SD What Up Bitches Check Out My Sweet Ride

Good times!

But, with the coming of the 1990s and 2000s, I was subjected to a barrage of miserable teenage drama and CGI canine bullshit that was nothing but exhausting to sit through.


Less than good times.

Near the end of the year I started hitting a few films from Disney World Cinema. At first I was afraid that these might be perfectly fine films that had just gotten a poor rating because of xenophobic IMDb raters, but I was happy to discover that they were just as bizarre and ridiculous as any of the other films that made my list.


More so even!

And that brings me right up to the present.

It was in this final stretch of the year that I really started to feel as though all these Disney movies were having a negative effect on my life. I remember the exact moment that this occurred to me. I looked up at my computer screen, and realized that there was something terribly, terribly wrong.


Too many Tim Allens!

Watching and writing about these films had just stopped being fun for me. What started out as a pleasant pastime warped into a chore. Since I was spending the minimum possible amount of time thinking about these films, they really didn’t worm their way into the back of my mind the way they might have. I didn’t spend all day thinking about Underdog, so thankfully, he didn’t show up in my dreams.


Thank you for not haunting my nights!

The only continuing effect that the project seemed to have on me was that any time I saw an old Volkswagen Beetle I’d immediately think of Herbie. Hmm, what’s that in the opening of WKRP in Cincinnati? Double bugs!


(There’s even a third one further back!)

Herbie is everywhere, and it is lovely. Speaking of, something looks familiar about this car in an episode of Archer.


It’s dressed like Herbie!

So, yes, I now have a keen sense for when cars look like that one car who was in a bunch of movies I watched this year. Hooray.

So, now that I’ve reached the end of my year of Disney, let’s take a quick look back at the predictions I made in my hypothesis at the beginning of the year.

1) I predicted that I would likely begin integrating corny outdated slang into my daily lexicon. NOPE. I have not noted any changes to my speech patterns over the course of the year.

2) I predicted an improvement in my general mood. CHECK. After a year watching Avatar every week, the variety of all these Disney movies provided a significant boost.

3) I did not anticipate the experiment having any noticeable effect on my dreams or sleep patterns. CHECK. Aside from one dream about the Scottish Highlands (attributable to Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue) back in January, and one where I stuck the word “Boatniks” into the Kimmy Schmidt theme song, my dreams have been Disney-free.

4) I predicted that I might start pretending animals/cars are talking with me. NOT AT ALL. Turns out there were a lot less talking animal movies than I had expected (only 5 of the 52, by my count, and that includes animals who are actually people!) so this one just didn’t pan out.

Nothing, really. Aside from a final assessment of the full four-year project, Cinema 52 is pretty well wrapped up.