THE OBJECTIVE: Watch the 52 worst live action Disney movies, one every week, in 2015.
LIVE ACTION DISNEY MOVIES WATCHED SO FAR:
Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue, Westward Ho, The Wagons!, Johnny Tremain, The Shaggy Dog(1959), Ten Who Dared, Moon Pilot, Bon Voyage!, Son of Flubber, The Misadventures of Merlin Jones, The Monkey’s Uncle, Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N, Monkeys, Go Home!, Never a Dull Moment,The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The Boatniks, The Million Dollar Duck, The World’s Greatest Athlete, Superdad, Herbie Rides Again, The Shaggy D.A., Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo, The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again, Unidentified Flying Oddball, Herbie Goes Bananas, Popeye, The Devil and Max Devlin, Condorman, Trenchcoat, Honey, I Blew Up The Kid, Blank Check, Man of the House, Operation Dumbo Drop, A Kid in King Arthur’s Court, That Darn Cat (1997), Mr. Magoo, Meet the Deedles, My Favorite Martian, Inspector Gadget, and The Country Bears.
So far this year I’ve watched 39 of Walt Disney Studios’ least respected movies. They span all the way from 1953 to 2002, and a lot has changed in that half-century. As of my last report we had just entered the ’80s, and things were pleasantly zany. Well, Disney didn’t put many movies out in the ’80s, so I was almost immediately launched into the ’90s. At this point it was interesting to note that Disney was finally daring to address some important issues that had been floating around in the public consciousness for a few decades, like divorce, Vietnam, and robotic cops.
I feel like this picture could stand as an accurate depiction of all three of those issues.
Like all other eras of Disney that I’ve covered this year, the ’80s-’90s had a fairly even mix of mind-numbingly boring and pant-shittingly bizarre. Though, it should be noted that the bizarre has become significantly less charming.
Moon Pilot this is not.
But hey, it is what it is.
THE SIDE EFFECTS:
Bill may have musicals on the brain, but I’m not really feeling many Disney-related side effects. I chalk this up to the fact that while they were all produced by the same company, my movies are very diverse. One week I’m watching an elephant get dropped from a plane, the next some kid is making hamburgers in Merrie Olde England, so for something to jar me, it has to be pretty damn specific. Though any time anyone mentions Yellowstone or Jackson Hole, Wyoming, I start getting Deedle flashbacks.
Spirits, haunt me no more.
I should also note that I felt a strong desire to watch Inspector Gadget 2 the other day, just because I felt like it really couldn’t be worse than the first one, and god damn it, I really need to find out. That is by no means a good reason to watch a movie.
Why would I want to voluntarily subject myself to this?
I’m also running out of steam. Writing about these terrible films week after week is really grinding me down. I was bearly able to make myself force out any ursine puns for my review of The Country Bears, and I had been looking forward to writing about that shit pile for months.
I was so fucking ready.
Ah well, I’m sure things really can’t get any worse.
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES WITH:
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)