Hi, everybody! My name is Bill, and I stupidly agreed to watch Top Gun (eh) 52 times in 2012, Back to the Future (love it) 52 times in 2013, and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (hate it) 52 times in 2014. Wouldn’t that drive someone crazy? I am here to answer that question! With just a month left to go in this three-year experiment, here’s how it’s driven me wack-a-doo nutzoid in the month of November 2014!
LET’S TALK FELLOWSHIP:
On November 6th, I was reading Fantastic Four #127 and a character said, “my precious,” and I heard it in Gandalf’s voice. (Gandalf says it more than Gollum in Fellowship.)
It’s everyone’s favorite Fantastic Four nemesis, Pineapple Ant.
On November 8th, I dreamed I was watching The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring over at the home of our poster designer Matt. Other movies and special features kept popping on randomly and nobody could figure out why. Apparently my dream-self wishes I had the power to stop Fellowship from playing on any screen.
On November 12th, I was watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, “You Are Cordially Invited.” Dax said something in Klingon and I thought I knew what she said because it sounded like Aragorn saying “sit down” in Elvish.
Kinda sounds like “havel dad” but I’ve never looked it up.
On November 17th, I saw an ad for an article on the world’s tallest skyscrapers and thought one of them was Isengard.
You’ll notice none of them are fictional towers.
On November 22nd, I started reading The Return of the King. No, I don’t know if this counts as a result, I more just like to finish what I start, plus my best friend Becca read it and said the ending was really great. I read The Hobbit (hated it) as a precursor to The Fellowship of the Ring (enjoyed it more than the movie), then started The Two Towers (was really bored) to pass time on an easy work shift. I did not pick up The Return of the King with great excitement and have only been reading a chapter or so on bus rides. I have yet to finish it.
On November 26th, for reasons unknown, I could not get the Balrog’s theme music out of my head.
That song is just so catchy!
On November 27th, I made a Gollum joke about someone’s missing wedding ring. Gollum would never have crossed my mind if this had happened a year ago.
LET’S TALK FUTURE:
Okay, most of these results are quick and stupid, but this one is actually pretty depressing. On November 5th, as is my annual tradition, I watched Back to the Future for Flux Capacitor Day. This is the first time I’d watched the film since my 52 viewings in 2013… and I did not feel excited about it or even compelled to keep watching. I can’t tell if it’s because of the over-exposure or outside factors, but I just wasn’t feeling it. I kept it on but didn’t feel like paying attention. I’m shocked and, frankly, very sad. I hope I don’t feel the same way next year.
Oh. This again.
Holy shit, this is an insane dream and welcome to me describing it. On November 11th, I dreamed that I won a DeLorean, souped up, end of BTTF Part 1 edition, including hover capabilities. Called my buddy John to come check it out. He was all like, “SWEET,” and we took it for a hover trip and that’s when I got a call from the four ladies from Sex and the City and they’d heard about my sweet DeLorean and wanted to join us. They piled in the back (they fit somehow) and asked me to give them a ride home. I said sure, but their homes were in California and we were in Maine. They said, “Maybe if you go back in time, the rotation of the Earth will get us closer to California,” and I said, “I don’t want to mess with time travel, plus I don’t even know if it works,” and they offered to blow me if I went back in time. “Um, hey,” John said, “can you land and let me out if you’re going to do that?” And Kim Cattrall just started blowing me and John said, “Never mind!” and jumped out to what I assume was his death? Anyway, all four Sexes and the City blew me and then we went back in time and ended up in late 1920s Communist China. Chinese soldiers started shooting at the car and we crash landed in the snow by some railroad tracks. And nearby us was the Time Train from Part 3. What? Before I could even figure out this bizarre coincidence, I saw Doc and Marty waving from the train. “We’re saved!” I said, only to watch Doc and Marty be run through with bayonets. “Okay, we’re screwed,” I said, and suddenly a second train, this time a golden Amtrak-style train, busted out a time portal and two women got out. “Hello!” one of them said, “I’m your granddaughter and this is my wife! We’re here to rescue you!” And I thought, “Wait, is the mother one of the Sexes and the City?”
Wasn’t that fun? Another BTTF dream, straight ahead!
On November 22nd, I dreamed someone at work brought in their DeLorean. I remarked it was in way better condition than mine, which I got for $1,000 because the seats are all ripped up. I think Dream Me was telling the dream truth; there was a flashback and everything.
LET’S TALK GUN: