OBJECTIVE: Watch The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring once per every week of 2014.

WHEN: October 4, 2014, 12:28pm. (Week 41, September 28-October 4.)

WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME.

FORMAT: Blu-ray on a Vizio 47″ LCD HDTV.

COMPANY: Mostly none. (Becca walked by a couple of times.)

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Eating pizza, focusing on minor details.

As of last week’s viewing, I have watched the theatrical cut of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 40 times this year (in the name of science). When you’ve watched a movie that frequently, you no longer experience it like a normal human might. For example, while you might be excited for the thrills of the cave troll fight, I wait with anticipation every week for the arrow in Aragorn’s backpack to smack into the camera.

As first mentioned in Week 31.

Most of these minor details are just weird stuff happening in the background, but after repeated exposure, they become all I can focus on, rather than, say, the plot. None of them are anything worth analyzing and definitely don’t warrant their own article. Except for today, as I spent my viewing making a list of the little things that keep Fellowship fun after I’ve been thoroughly oversaturated by it. Things like:

- The kings of Men inexplicably lined up like they’re posing for a photo.

“Eyes forward, rings in the air, and SMILE! A little smile, maybe? No?”

- The way Elrond flinches when arrows fly past him.

“SHIT, Pete, warn me next time!”

- This Hobbit that kind of looks like Martin Freeman long before the Hobbit prequels existed.

Enjoy my 9-part time travel fanfic “There and Back to the Future.”

- This Hobbit making an “Awww!” face during Bilbo’s speech.

She looks nice.

- The expressively cartoonish way Merry’s jaw flops around when he says, “What was that?”

Totally worth learning how to make a GIF for.

- Peter Jackson’s carrot-chomping cameo.

“You brought this on yourself, asshole.”

- Sam dropping his pot of soup at the sight of the Ringwraiths.

Soup Drop Small

Soup to sword in 0.6 seconds.

- Gimli spitting when he says, “I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an ELFFF!”


- How great the scene immediately after Gandalf’s death is. Okay, maybe this is a bit of a cheat, as it’s a whole scene, but it makes me perk up every week because it’s such a powerful moment. It perfectly captures each character in a short span of time. Aragorn is sucking up the loss and playing it off as a need to keep soldiering on. Boromir is overly emotional and shouting, “Give them a moment, for pity’s sake!” Gimli is fighting to go back in and kick some revenge ass. Legolas is visibly shaken but continues to follow orders. The Hobbits fall down and weep, except for Frodo, who cries but nevertheless is the first to keep moving. It’s a perfectly efficient bit of character development, in a movie with an overabundance of characters.

Okay, back to little silly things.

- How Gimli pronounces the word “easily” as “easileh.”

It’s true! He does!

- The Christmas lights in Galadriel’s eyes.

First brought to my attention by Tolkien superfan Hannah Peterson.

– The really goofy smash cut to Galadriel’s eyes when she says, “One who has seen THE EYE!”


- The fact that Big Stupid Crazy Galadriel looks like Kate Hudson. Don’t believe me? Here is a picture of Big Stupid Crazy Galadriel…

…and here are side-by-side pictures of Kate Hudson and Cate Blanchett with a blue tint and a soft glow. Who does she look like more?

Right? Maybe? Okay, neither of them, really.

- The clunky exposition scene where Saruman tells the head Uruk-hai about where Orcs came from. Did he ask?

“Before you go murder everything, quick history lesson.”

- That when Saruman says he wants the Hobbits alive and “unspoiled,” it seems an awful lot like he’s subtly implying, “Don’t have sex with them.”

A look that says, “Rein it in, you fuck machine.”

- Legolas pulling off that awesome stab ‘n’ shoot arrow combo that I’ve enjoyed since Week 6.

Believably badass, unlike anything he does in Smaug.

- How creepy it is when you realize that a Hobbit actor’s face has been digitally pasted onto a little person’s body.

Note how the darkness covers how bad the effect looks.

And they tried to hide this one with a lens flare.

Someone to share these tiny details with.

No fun Photoshops this week! Just pure loneliness.