OBJECTIVE: Watch Avatar once per every week of 2014.

WHEN: October 17th, 2014, 8:35 am. (Week 42, October 12-18.)

WHERE: In my apartment in Portland, ME.

FORMAT: DVD on a 19” AOC LED computer monitor; digital download on an iPhone 3.



I went into this week’s viewing hoping to come up with a cogent point to make, but while trying to focus in on one, I ended up just uncovering more questions. Specifically, questions about the weird half-Na’vi clones, the titular avatars. I am utterly baffled by the piece of technology around which the film centers, and as such have no answers. I will simply let my queries speak for themselves:

1.) How were avatars developed?

2.) How many of them are there?

3.) Is Dr. Augustine walking around in the prototype?

4.) Who had the idea for the avatar?

5.) Was it based on previously existing tech?

6.) For instance, back on earth was there a company that was making surrogate human bodies for rich but infirm people, and once Pandora was discovered someone decided to splice some Na’vi DNA into one of them just for shits and giggles?

7.) If it wasn’t based on previously existing technology, did somebody just say, “hey, what if we grew a weird half Na’vi clone of ourselves and controlled it with our minds?” If so, that’s kind of creepy.


8.) No matter how the idea came about, the production of the first avatar must have been arduous. How, for example, did they find the proper balance between human and Na’vi DNA?

9.) Were there a bunch of creepy half-human failed attempts?

10.) Is that why Augustine’s avatar has a creepy little human nose instead of a normal Na’vi one?


11.) Did any of the first avatar drivers suffer irreparable brain damage because the link wasn’t calibrated correctly?

12.) Where did they get the Na’vi DNA from?

13.) Some corpse that was just lying around?


14.) Are all avatars made with the same Na’vi DNA?

15.) If so, are all the avatars genetic siblings?

16.) If Jake and Augustine’s avatars share the same Na’vi DNA, would it be incest if they hair-boned each other?

17.) Do the avatars, with their somewhat human features, look really creepy to the Na’vi?

18.) Does Neytiri have an avatar fetish?


19.) We don’t really know how Na’vi reproduce, but can avatars breed?

20.) If so, would the resulting offspring be 1/4 human?

21.) Could a kid be born with human lungs that can’t breath the atmosphere?

So, these are the mysteries that the film leaves hanging out there. Will we ever discover the truths behind them? Ha, probably not. But whatever. Fuck it. Hell, if any of you know, or even have a guess or two, I’d love to hear what you think. Well, “love” is a strong word. I’d passively read comments containing what you think. I’m really fairly apathetic on this point.