OBJECTIVE: Watch The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring once per every week of 2014.

WHEN: August 16, 2014, 11:52am. (Week 33, August 10-16.)

WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME.

FORMAT: DVD through RiffPlayer on a Sony Vaio Flip 15A.

COMPANY: Cinemanaut John and ex-Cinemanaut Becca.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Very much in need of a good laugh.

Believe it or not, watching The Fellowship of the Ring 32 times can be a real drag, moreso when you never liked the film to begin with, so I’m forced to find a way to make it interesting every week. And sometimes I run out of ideas. Luckily, the night before my intended viewing, I put on some RiffTrax shorts, and at the end of “Drawing for Beginners,” they cracked a Crebain from Dunland joke, and that was such an obscure Rings reference that I figured their Fellowship of the Ring commentary must be thoroughly hilarious.

If this makes you think of a bunch of fucking crows, you are my people.

So, I rounded up a couple pals and synced the Fellowship riffs with the movie. Hooray. Unlike most of my other articles, there isn’t a whole lot to report here. It was hilarious, check it out, and check out everything else they do because they’re geniuses. And, despite all my analysis and the various jokes I make while watching with friends, there was almost no overlap, because the RiffTrax guys a) don’t go for the obvious joke and b) don’t actually do that much analysis of the movies they riff; it’s all about quick jabs and then moving on.

We both mentioned the Ringwraiths’ terrible blacksmith.
And their joke was still better than mine.

Lastly, this viewing was important to my sanity because it allowed me to have good friends along for the journey this time. John and Becca have already joined me plenty of times to help me make it through this damn movie, and there’s no way they would have popped in without the RiffTrax gang making it better. So thanks, RiffTrax.

ONE THING THAT WOULD HAVE IMPROVED THE MOVIE:
While the RiffPlayer syncs the commentary with the DVD pretty flawlessly (though I had a few false starts due to a cranky flip screen), it would have been amazing if it inserted some silhouettes, too.

Keep circulating the tapes.