OBJECTIVE: Watch Avatar once per every week of 2014.
WHEN: July 18, 2014, 1:00 pm. (Week 29, July 13-19.)
WHERE: In my apartment in Portland, ME.
FORMAT: DVD on a 19” AOC LED computer monitor; digital download on an iPhone 3.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Having a very pleasant day (aside from watching Avatar, that is).
I’ve talked about Jake Sully and his genitalia a decent amount this year. I’ve brought up his probably nonfunctional human penis. I’ve waxed poetic about his symbolic hair penis. But there’s one question that I haven’t yet posed: does Jake, in his avatar body, even have a penis? Let’s explore this in further depth…
DOES JAKE HAVE A PENIS?:
I mean, does he? In his Na’vi body?
Dammit. I can’t tell. His tail is in the way.
Is there a bulge in those pants? Is that a penis?
Shit. Too much fabric. There’s no way of knowing.
Maybe from a different angle we can tell. Is that a penis there?
Too blurry! Also, a fern is in the way. Crap.
Maybe we can tell during that sexyish scene with Neytiri. Does he have a penis? Would he even need one?
Well, his thong is still on. But what’s under it? Damn.
I guess we’ll never know.