OBJECTIVE: Watch Avatar once per every week of 2014.
WHEN: July 3, 2014, 4:36 pm. (Week 27, June 29-July 5.)
WHERE: In my apartment in Portland, ME.
FORMAT: DVD on a 19” AOC LED computer monitor.
COMPANY: None.
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Terribly hot. Eating nachos.
THAT GOOP:
Alright. Problem with Avatar of the day: How did Jake know that goop was flammable?
What goop? Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot not everyone has seen Avatar 27 times this year.
This goop:
Okay, still lost? It’s dark. Jake’s stranded in the middle of a mysterious jungle. In need of a light source, he craftily creates a makeshift torch out of a stick he has found. He then dips it into some weird goop which he lights on fire.
But how does he know the goop will catch fire? The movie has gone through great pains to establish that Jake knows nothing about Pandora.
I feel as though the intended explanation is that, as a Marine, he has extensive survival skills, and that’s all well and good. But, without a knowledge of this specific alien biome, how could he possibly know that this particular goop was going to easily catch fire? I mean, there’s a decent chance that even Augustine with her extensive knowledge of the moon’s plants hasn’t gotten around to exhaustively cataloging every drippy substance on this expansive jungle.
Is this a huge problem? No, it’s just a little irritating detail. But these details add up. And after 27 weeks of this, I’m getting fed up. That is all for today. Please excuse me as I slip into a terrible, sad, Avatar-induced coma.
I’m sorry. The only cure is not watching Avatar. There’s nothing we can do.
