OBJECTIVE: Watch a popular or critically acclaimed film we’ve never seen to the halfway point. Pause it. Work together to predict the ending.
THE LAST THING WE SAW: We paused at 01:03:00, right after Molly finds out about Oda Mae’s criminal record.
And now… discuss!
Phil: I’m seeing a happy ending. Sam Wheat is going to sort everything out, even with his difficulties being able to affect the plane of the living.
Ben: Yeah, I think Ghost-Sam will deal with douche-backstabber-pal Carl while Oda Mae pulls some voodoo bullshit to stop robber-punk Willie. Meanwhile, widow Molly helps either one of them and/or tries to stay alive.
Phil: I think that Molly will help out, but it will be a long time coming. Right as we stopped, she has just heard that Oda is likely to be a charlatan and that any hope she was putting into Sam’s presence still being around is merely superstitious nonsense. So it will take a lot of convincing to win her back around.
Ben: For the first time in Whoopi Goldberg’s life, she’s actually as good as she says she is. Since she can really hear ghosts for whatever reason (and why is it that spiritual mediums in Hollywood are always black women?), she’s the most useful character in the whole story. Despite the fact that, like Glenn Beck’s dates, she vehemently wants to get away from the terrifying situation.
Phil: Yeah, although I think it’s pretty hard to believe that, having this gift and working in the field that she does, she is scared and has never had this occur before. But yes, she’ll also need some convincing to be part of the fray. I think it’ll be Sam Wheat going solo for a while (trying somewhat in vain for her help) and therein he’ll discover some ghostly power that will aid in his irking out a confession from Carl–I mean, that creeper on the train was able to manipulate the real world (he was able to break some glass)–not quite sure how the physics are working on this.
Ben: I’m also super unclear on the rules (i.e. why can he scare violent cats and dread-locked comediennes, but no one else?). Since they introduced that old-guy-ghost-mentor at the hospital, he must come back and teach Sam a lesson at some point. But I predict that the “how” will be some B.S. like “the power of love will let you punch real muggers” or some stupid shit.
Phil: Ha! But absolutely, the whole things seems like a badly planned platformer game: he can sit in a chair, but can also walk through walls; he can ride a train but also get pushed through it. So I’m hoping that all of a sudden he realizes he has “the power to move lipstick” and write everything on the bathroom mirror.
Ben: Sadly, that’s probably accurate. My best guess is that the subway-jerk-ghost has been putzing around in ghost world long enough to learn some tricks. Cheat codes for the platformer game, if you will. Just like Sam is metaphorically imprisoned by a lack of environment understanding and a sense of helplessness, I feel like Oda Mae will be literally imprisoned by the police — and for no good reason/a misunderstanding.
Phil: I hadn’t thought of that. I knew that the poor swindler-turned-“whoa, I actually have psychic powers” would be very wrapped up in the proceedings: the hulking combless murderer wants to kill her, Demi trusts her nada, and the police have written her off as an ex-jailbird liar. So she’s in for a bumpy ride. Frankly, I think the “misunderstanding” will come at the end when Sam uses his newfound conjuring tricks to fool Carl into either confessing to said policemen or thinking that the murderer is double-crossing him. Or maybe Carl gets killed and Sam and he have an epic battle in the Astral Plane.
Ben: Some newly learned Sam trickery would be welcome at this point. I’m expecting a formulaic ending: Weirdo Goldberg and Supernatural Sam nab the baddies, dumb people learn dumb lessons, and Sam and Molly reunite over flaccid pottery.
AND NOW, WE FINISH THE MOVIE:
Ben Katz is the new Business Development Manager at Maine/New Hampshire Computer Services. For I.T. services and computer/printer repair, email him at email@example.com. For stuff that isn’t that, tweet at the guy. Phil Hobby is an actor, writer, and director. See him perform in The Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon at 8pm on June 28th at Empire in Portland, ME, as part of the PortFringe Theater Festival. Also, tweet some tweets into his tweethole.