WHEN: 5:54 pm EST, December 13th, 2013
WHERE: The living room of Bill and Becca’s apartment in Portland
FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Increasingly inebriated, from Miller High Life.
MY JURASSIC PARK DRINKING GAME:
If you hear someone is conducting an experiment wherein they watch the same film 52 times in one year, you might assume that there would be a fair amount of drinking involved. For me, this has proven not to be the case, having made it all the way to December of my year with Jurassic Park without a drunk viewing. As Bill and Becca hadn’t embarked on inebriated viewings either, we decided to get together for an evening of drinking with our respective films.
Unlike Malcolm, I declined to follow up my drinking with large amounts of morphine.
For my Jurassic Park drinking game, I decided to take a drink (one shot of Miller High Life) every time a character or the film itself made a blunder or factual error. Are these rules vague and open to interpretation? Hell yeah. Do I give a hoot or a holler? Hell no.
The important thing is that my rules fill me with shitty beer, and given that I’ve spent much of this year tearing into the characters’ actions, this was a fairly safe bet.
I didn’t take any notes during the viewing, my justification being that I could live-tweet the whole thing as I watched. (Oh, hey, I regularly say things on Twitter. You may or may not enjoy reading them. Either way, follow me.) To get an idea of what I was drinking for, here are some of those tweets:
Poorly secured forklift – Drink. #JPDrinkingGame
No one follows Muldoon’s order to Shoot. #JPDrinkingGame
You don’t pick a fossils nose. It can damage it. #JPDrinkingGame
T-Rex had excellent. Vision. #JPDrinkingGame
How can Grant know how raptors attack? #JPDrinkingGame
Fifteen minutes in, and I’m already down a beer. #JPDrinkingGame
Of course, I failed to realize that it’s hard to type on an iPhone while simultaneously drinking and watching a movie, and after the first several minutes, the tweets dried up.
Thankfully, Bill was there to capture some of the experience on video:
Please note: the point that I wasn’t coherent enough to make during that long string of drinks at the beginning of the video is that Malcolm sucks at everything (chaos, evolution, and science in general).
SO, WHAT DID WE LEARN?:
Well, firstly, it’s clear from my excited, incoherent cheering for the T-Rex that, even after fifty viewings, I still deeply enjoy this film. I even took time to tweet as much:
I’ve seen the Rex attack 50 times, and it’s still fucking beautiful. #JPDrinkingGame
Taking the time to step back and enjoy the film without feeling the need to analyze anything was very nice. I even made a new observation: Hammond uses plastic silverware for the ice cream.
Wait, no, that’s definitely metal. Jeez, I was pretty drunk.
I’ll leave you with one final gem that came out of the evening:
Take a hike.