WHEN: 9:15am EST, June 15th, 2013

WHERE: In my apartment in Portland, ME

FORMAT:  DVD on a 24” Philips CRT television,


MENTAL STATE: Mind scattered.

In order to properly appreciate this brief article, whenever you come upon an embedded video, press play and, without pausing, continue.


Sometimes it’s the little things that get to you. For instance, Ian Malcolm’s bizarre laugh on the helicopter.

Why is Malcolm laughing?

Does he know there are dinosaurs on the island?

Is he in on the big joke?

Has Hammond told him more than he should, and now he cannot contain his exuberance?

Why is Malcolm laughing?

Is Malcolm a little toasty?

Is it twenty minutes after four o’clock?

Has he been toking in the (no doubt ridiculously small) bathroom of the helicopter?

Why Is Malcolm laughing?

Has a bug crawled in his pants?

Has he recently watched Throw Momma From The Train?

Has he been hired as a second spy by Dodgson, and is really bad at lying?

Why is Malcolm laughing?


I guess we’ll never know.

You may now pause all the laughing Goldblums.