Maybe it was the holidays and the stress that surrounds them, maybe it was the year winding to a close, but I really wasn’t thinking about Jurassic Park all that much in December, the final month in year two of the Cinema 52 experiment. For the first time since August, I went a whole month without any dinosaur dreams. But the film is still lingering in my mind, and even little things can dredge it up. Walking down a hallway, for instance, I saw a discarded cigarette, and started laughing to myself.


Obviously, I have a problem.

Cigarette butts aren’t the only things triggering  responses. Jurassic Park continues to jump into my brain, while I’m attempting to watch other movies.

While watching It’s a Wonderful Life, I perked up when George Bailey joked that he wouldn’t mind traveling on a beef ship, because he likes cows. Now, this might not seem like something that would remind a person of Jurassic Park, but those of you who have seen the film 52 times in one year (what, no one else does that?) know that Lex mentions how she likes cows while she’s feeding the Brachiosaur. So, obviously, I now think of Lex anytime anyone mentions that they’re a fan of bovines.


Goddammit, George, I wish you’d never been born. 

Later, while watching a commercial for 2oth Century Fox DVDs, Halle Berry from X-Men popped up onscreen, and after one particular line, I heard Ray Arnold respond:



Actually, the movie which the DVD commercial preceded was Die Hard, a film which could in no way trigger any thoughts about Jurassic Park


Donald’s sister perhaps?
(Just kidding, Don spells it “Gennaro.”)

The real kicker came a little later when Hans Gruber is terrorizing the Christmas party. Ms. Gennero grabs Mr. Takagi by the arm and whispers, “Don’t move.” My brain immediately followed that with, “He can’t see you if you don’t move.”


Just imagine Alan Rickman sniffing their faces to trying to locate them by scent alone…

Does any of this make logical sense? No. I thought not.

By now, I know all there is to know about Jurassic Park; at least, that’s how it feels. Sure, there are things I’ve made it this far without noticing, but I’ve gotten to be a cocky son of a bitch about this film. In conversation, I find myself getting irritated with people who don’t know as much about the film as me, or who haven’t thought as much about it. Is this reasonable? No, only a bat-shit crazy person would think about Jurassic Park as much as I have over the last year. But, nevertheless, I find myself mentally looking down on them. I have become a monster.


“You blame Timmy for not picking up the gun? SHUT THE FUCK UP. GET THE FUCK OUT.

And, before I wrap up this final results post for 2013, I must mention a result from 2012’s movie, High Fidelity. I was feeling pretty down in the dumps one day near the end of the month, and a coworker asked me how I was doing. While I responded with the obligatory “Fine, and you?” what went running through my mind was Sarah Kendrew’s, “Not good, not good.”


This subconscious comparison between myself and Sarah Kendrew did nothing but make me feel worse about feeling unhappy. You know, for a movie about a chronically mopey guy, High Fidelity really puts a stigma on its one truly depressed character. Rob even says that if he slept with her he “wouldn’t be sleeping with a person.” Jeez, Rob, way to be a complete ass.

So, those were Jurassic Park‘s noticeable impacts on my life in December. Sadly I cannot guarantee that this will be the end. If High Fidelity‘s occasional recurrences in my mind are any indication, I’ll be dealing with Jurassic Park thoughts for some time to come. At least now I don’t have to watch it every week. I don’t have to hold onto my butt any more, and I didn’t even lose an arm!