My father committed a grave error in raising me. (At least one that I can clearly identify.) His major sin… was showing me Back to the Future Part III before the other two movies. Were I interested in having tiny Bills, I would never, ever show them a sequel first. This is sacrilege. But, somehow, I coped. Even when Doc sends Marty back in time and there is, for some reason, an older Doc there, even though they’re in the past… Dad, what is going on???

Still, I must have been six years old, as Part III had just been released on VHS. I think this was my first introduction to time travel. Ever. My mind was blown. So you get in the car, you push some buttons, and you are in another year? Give me more, Dad. Who else has this power? How do they do it? What can you show me in a phone booth?

There are two phone booths?!?!

Dad made up for his mistake quickly by renting the original Back to the Future (though not before I saw George Pal’s The Time Machine on TNT). Wow. Just wow. I wasn’t even sure I would like it as much. “So it’s the same movie without cowboys? Lame.” And to be honest, I was smiling, but I wasn’t as nuts about it as III at first. Because kids are stupid. But after a couple of years, I came to see it as an amazing beginning to a great journey.

I made my own temporal display out of a corn flakes box and taped it to the handlebars on my bike. I used a pie box for the flux capacitor and Mr. Fusion was a toilet paper tube. I dressed up like Doc Brown… just because. I went to school in a lab coat. I wanted to be a scientist more than anything. When the guys in my class were drooling over Pamela Anderson, I was crushing hard on Lea Thompson. Oh, yeah, and you know what? Nobody liked this movie when I was a kid. Nobody. I simply couldn’t make people understand what a great adventure this was. Not until ’80s nostalgia suddenly became cool. And even then, ha ha, that Marty and his Huey Lewis! Totally ’80s!

No. Totally wonderful.

I’ve been talking about how much I love Back to the Future for too long. Sorry. So, how may times have I seen it? No idea. Since college (2003), I’ve watched the trilogy every year on November 5th for Flux Capacitor Day. That’s not some Internet holiday. Well, it is now. Ya heard it here first.

Rough estimate? I’ve seen BTTF 20 times. At least. I’m trying not to overshoot. But it could be more.

Hey, what’s another 52? What could that do to me? Let me predict my future.

1) I see myself enjoying this movie a little less by the end of the year. Hey, it happens. I already went through my grumpy “all my favorite movies are just mainstream shit” phase a while ago, and that could rear its angsty head again. I also base this on last year’s experiment, which pushed Top Gun down the pile from “eh” movie to “DIE” movie. The repetition, it seems, breeds irritation. I don’t want that to happen, but I think it will.

2) I think I’ll be happier, then I’ll hit a point of rapid decline after a few months. Honestly, if I’m feeling down, play some time circuits sound effects and I perk right up. But that’s gonna go from “quaint” to “OKAY, ENOUGH” pretty fast, I think.

3) I’ll be thinking about time travel… more? Than I already am? Wow.

4) Quoting the movie is irrelevant. People don’t know I’m quoting Back to the Future all day because I am quoting lines that nobody remembers. So sort of like Top Gun last year, except I’ve been doing it all my life. If my quoting somehow gets worse than it already is, Cinemanaut John will let me know. Because this is his fourth favorite film.

What a nice man.

5) I will absolutely have dreams about Back to the Future. Last year, I had a few Top Gun-related dreams, but only one or two details from the movie popped up. I often dream I own a DeLorean time machine. About every six months. I want one. I want one so bad. And I think those dreams will increase in frequency this year.

Alright. We’ll score this hypothesis on December 31st, 2013. Look me up when you get there, alright? I guess I’ll be about… 28?

Okay, that quote doesn’t count. Yet.