WHEN: December 8th, 6:45 pm EST, 2012

WHERE: Number 1

FORMAT: DVD via my Xbox on Teletraan 1

COMPANY: None, again.


  • I still think that this movie would be better with a different opening scene.
  • Jim Carrey did not know how to rein it in back in 1998.
  • Sylvia is not really attractive.
  • I will be glad when I do not have to watch this.
  • Boats do not work like that.
  • Ugh, I am not sure Peter Weir was the right director for this movie.


I really can not wait for this year to be over. It is not that I hate this movie (I still do a bit), but now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, it does not seem that bad. I merely want to move on. Seahaven has become as humdrum for me as it has for Truman. Out of all of the movies that have been a part of this year’s experiment, I think that I have had the most boring. Truman takes forever to get where it is going (that is if you count it going anywhere) and does a pretty bad job at world-building (even though that is what most of the movie is trying to do). This has both worked in my favor as well as against me.

Firstly, I have not had to worry about Truman getting stuck in my head at all. I don’t get the brain flare-ups that Bill has had. I don’t have any catchy music, and only one piece of catchy dialogue. (“In case I don’t see ya…”) I also have not felt engaged by the movie since the first few viewings. All of the deeper inner meanings have either ham-handedly been hitting me in the face (the Bible, okay, I get it) or I had to try to invent some to keep myself amused. It really says something about your movie when I have to imagine a more interesting version of the movie to go along with it. I don’t care what your box office take was ($264,118,201), it still does not mean you made an interesting movie. For fuck’s sake, people willingly have seen a Twilight movie (box office take $392,616,625), and not just to get a blowie. They really wanted to see it.

Maybe they really like smoky backgrounds?

Not being the least bit interesting has helped me live a Truman-free year outside of my viewings, for the most part. I do really think that the movie itself should be affecting me. The movie did teach me some things, though. Like how boats do not work, or how radios do not work, or how you can avoid building tension for an hour and a half. Trying to drown a guy is always entertaining, though. Always.

Try harder next time, Christof.

I could get behind that if the movie was at least bad. Truman is not a bad movie. A bad movie I could make fun of, or at least enjoy any moments that were shoddy for being just that. If Truman was a bit better, I could focus on the great moments or bits of dialogue that it had. But it does not have anything of the sort. I do not have an air combat scene. I do not have Dick killing Ian with an air conditioner. I don’t even have an Emo Parker scene to laugh at.

I don’t want to fight crime, I want to DANCE!

Not everything has to be wiz-bang-boom action. One of my favorite movies is Gran Torino. The majority of that movie is character interaction and growth. The main conflict for the first hour of the movie is seeing how characters from distinctly different worldviews  interact and see if they can find any common ground. The acting is of the “very shitty” quality. No one but Clint Eastwood delivers lines well or consistently good. I have seen the movie about half a dozen times and no matter how I have prepared myself for the ending, it still gets to me every single time. I think that this is one of those movies that will always affect me. The Truman Show has nothing that can even come close. That is why I have repeatedly called it bland-tasting paste. Truman does nothing wrong, but it only seemed to strive for average.

Truman does not even stand out in the year it was released. And to prove that, here is a list of better movies that came out in 1998:

A more charming movie: Waking Ned (also known as Waking Ned Divine)

A better romantic movie: You’ve Got Mail

A better movie with a 1950s setting: Pleasantville

A better movie about surveillance: Enemy of the State

A better movie that explores reality: Dark City

A better movie about God: What Dreams May Come

The Big Lebowski, Saving Private Ryan, A Bug’s Life, Antz, The Faculty, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Thin Red Line, He Got Game, Lethal Weapon 4, Half Baked, Ronin, Sliding Doors, Water Boy, The Wedding Singer, Ringu, Rushmore, Rush Hour, The Avengers (not the one you are thinking about), Shakespeare in Love, The Prince of Egypt, and motherfucking Babe: Pig in the City. All coming out in 1998, and all better or more interesting movies than The Truman Show.