WHEN: 9:15pm EST, November 3rd, 2012

WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV, time display on

COMPANY: None

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Super sleepy, worried about getting my viewing in so late in the week, thinking about time travel.

THINKING FOURTH DIMENSIONALLY: If you weren’t aware, my year of Top Gun isn’t the end of the experiment. For maximum data collection, I’ll be watching a movie I love next year, and you, the readers, voted to make me watch Back to the Future. I’m all tingly and thinking about time constantly, especially with Flux Capacitor Day just two days away on November 5. (Coincidentally, that’s also the day that Maverick’s dad dies in Top Gun, but it’s 10 years after the invention of the flux capacitor.) So, I decided to watch the entirety of Top Gun with the timecode onscreen in the corner and jot down the exact times of specific events. Then I’ll look for patterns, if there are any.

Some people come to the site for that “notes from the edge of madness” diary feel, some are here for the film analysis or to feed their pop culture addiction, some click just about anything on Reddit, and finally, some of you frequent Cinema 52 for raw data in the form of charts, graphs, and numbers.

If you come for the numbers, you’re gonna see some serious shit.

Look out, Duke Mitchell!

TIME:

00:00:29 – Tom Cruise’s credit

00:00:38 – Introductory text

00:00:56 – Title

00:02:11 – Bill Badalato’s credit

00:02:41 – “Danger Zone” starts

00:04:01 – First onscreen indicator that we’re in the Indian Ocean

00:04:09 – First line of dialogue

00:04:49 – First shot of Maverick’s face

00:08:52 – Maverick flips off the MiG

00:08:57 – Goose snaps a picture

00:13:16 – Cougar turns in his wings

00:14:16 – Penny Benjamin is first mentioned by name

00:14:58 – First time the title of the film is spoken

00:16:37 – “This gives me a hard-on.”

00:16:57 – Viper’s first appearance

00:19:12 – Reveal of the butterface

AUGH!

00:21:24 – First appearance of Charlie

00:21:54 – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” routine starts

00:22:44 – Charlie asks Maverick to sit down

00:23:27 – First time Maverick mentions “crashing and burning”

00:24:33 – Charlie enters the ladies room

00:24:42 – Maverick enters the ladies room

00:26:06 – Charlie is revealed to be an instructor at TOPGUN

00:27:39 – Iceman coughs “Bullshit!”

00:28:19 – Goose flips the bird

00:29:46 – First hop

00:31:25 – Maverick’s first “hit the brakes” maneuver

00:32:37 – Maverick “kills” Jester in the first hop

00:33:20 – First tower buzz (and first time Air Boss Johnson spills coffee)

00:34:27 – Iceman does that weird bite at Maverick

00:34:55 – Air Boss Johnson bumps into the coffee guy (second coffee spill)

00:37:09 – Viper reveals he flew with Maverick’s dad

00:38:27 – Goose reveals that Maverick’s dad is dead

00:40:24 – Charlie gives her address

00:40:37 – Slider makes the second mention of “crashing and burning” in the film

00:40:56 – Volleyball game starts

00:42:38 – “Take My Breath Away” plays for the first time

00:44:06 – My Blu-Ray player makes that “ggg-ggggg” sound it makes every time

00:45:13 – Maverick begins his long expository story about his parents being dead

00:48:07 – Maverick steps into the elevator

00:50:06 – First appearance of Carole

00:50:29 – Second hop (only seen briefly before the TACTS trailer scene)

00:51:28 – “If you think, you’re dead.”

00:52:50 – Maverick speeds away from Charlie REBELLIOUSLY

00:53:17 – Charlie slams her car door PASSIONATELY

00:53:46 – Maverick and Charlie have their first kiss UNCONVINCINGLY

00:54:20 – Maverick lays Charlie down to slip her the danger bone

00:54:48 – Exact halfway point of the film (Charlie is licking Maverick)

This frame, right here. The point of no return.

00:55:32 – “I feel the need… the need for speed.”

00:55:38 – Third hop of the film begins (hop 19)

00:57:23 – Maverick leaves his wing man

00:59:09 – Jester “kills” Maverick in the hop

01:00:00 – Exact 1-hour mark (Iceman is telling Maverick, “It’s not your flying, it’s your attitude.”)

Flattering.

01:01:08 – A photo of Maverick’s dad is shown

01:01:54 – Carole mentions “Penny Benjamin”

01:04:04 – Fourth hop begins (hop 31)

01:06:37 – Iceman pulls up and catches Maverick and Goose in his jet wash

01:07:37 – Goose cracks his skull on the canopy

01:09:18 – The point where I start to zone out every time

01:12:48 – Maverick cries into a box of Goose’s stuff

01:13:53 – Carole exits the scene (and the movie)

01:14:38 – The ridiculous synthesizer riff in the flight status hearing scene starts playing

01:15:09 – Fifth hop begins (no number given)

01:16:09 – Maverick flips out on Sundown

01:18:28 – Charlie makes her fucking hemlock joke

01:20:51 – Charlie walks out on Maverick

01:22:50 – Viper reveals what actually happened to Maverick’s dad

01:25:23 – TOPGUN graduation

01:26:34 – Mission envelopes are handed out

01:27:05 – Second onscreen indicator that we’re in the Indian Ocean

01:28:30 – First plane takes off for the final battle/fight/conflict/skirmish/jeticuffs

01:30:05 – “I’m gettin’ a hard-on.”

01:31:19 – A MiG fires on Hollywood

01:31:49 – Maverick enters the fight

01:33:50 – Maverick flies through jet wash again

01:34:41 – Maverick learns his lesson about leaving wing men and reengages

01:34:59 – First MiG down

01:36:46 – Second MiG down

01:37:57 – Third MiG down

01:38:46 – Maverick’s second “hit the brakes” maneuver

01:38:57 – Fourth MiG down

01:39:51 – Second tower buzz (third coffee spill)

01:41:47 – “You can be my wing man any time.”

01:42:19 – Last time the title of the film is spoken

01:44:09 – Third time “crashing and burning” is mentioned in the film

01:44:31 – Maverick and Charlie stare lovingly into the Pepsi logo

01:44:38 – Last image of Goose in the film

01:45:20 – “Mighty Wings” and the end credits scroll begin as I die inside

01:49:35 – Freedom! Until next week.

INTERESTING (?) CALCULATIONS:

Time between onscreen indicators that we’re in the Indian Ocean: 1 hour, 23 minutes, 4 seconds.

Time between the two occurrences of “giving the bird”: 19 minutes, 27 seconds.

Time between the two mentions of Penny Benjamin by name: 46 minutes, 48 seconds.

Time between the first and last utterances of the title: 1 hour, 27 minutes, 21 seconds.

Time between the two mentions of hard-ons: 1 hour, 13 minutes, 21 seconds.

Time between Maverick first seeing Charlie and slipping her the danger bone: 32 minutes, 56 seconds.

Time it takes Maverick to follow Charlie into the ladies room: 9 seconds.

Time between Maverick’s “hit the brakes” maneuvers: 1 hour, 7 minutes, 21 seconds.

Time it takes Jester to get his revenge on Maverick for “killing” him in the first hop: 26 minutes, 32 seconds.

Time between tower buzzes: 1 hour, 6 minutes, 31 seconds.

Time between Carole’s entrance and exit: 23 minutes, 47 seconds.

Time it takes America to win the day after Hollywood is shot down: 7 minutes, 38 seconds. (That’s it? Really?)

Average time between MiG kills in the final dogfight: 1 minute, 19 seconds.

On average, more plot information is revealed about Maverick’s dad (including what he looks like) every 18 minutes and 15 seconds of Top Gun.

On average, Air Boss Johnson spills coffee every 27 minutes and 23 seconds of Top Gun.

Well, that’s enough math for this writing major. Feel free to check my numbers, nerrrds. (We have a comment section!) I’ll be back to movie trivia and boner jokes next week.