WHEN: 9:20pm EST, September 15th, 2012

WHERE: My parents’ house in western Maine

FORMAT:  Digital Download on my iPhone 3


PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Feeling tired and a little sick.

John Cusack is really showing signs of age. I never noticed it before I watched his early films, but he is getting a bit saggy and wrinkly.

“I’m aging!”

Being quite tired, and feeling like devoting a minimal amount of energy to this week’s viewing, I determined to devote some time to writing the easiest type of poetry: the haiku. These are the results:

What came first, music
or misery? Rob doesn’t
have a good answer.

If you really want
to mess Rob up, earlier
gets the job done best.

Kevin Bannister
Marries the slut, and takes her
to Australia.

“I’ll tape it for you,”
The loser says to thin air.
No one cares. Sad Dick.

Sad Bastard music,
makes way for Katrina and
Barry’s funny dance.

A sad wet man yells,
“Oh, Charlie, you fucking bitch!
Let’s work it out!” Drip.

I didn’t know it
was Pick on the Middle-Aged
Square Guy Day. Sorry.

“Wow. No fucking way.”

What, did I beat you?
Tell you you’re a bad person?
You’re being stupid.

They have the record.
But he can not have it. Why?
Because he’s a geek.

Poor Penny Hardwick.
Did not have sex in college,
Thanks to asshole Rob.

Look out Rob Gordon!
Watch out for Sarah Kendrew!
That bitch be crazy.

Charlie Nicholson.
She’s been like this all along.
Charlie is awful.

Top five lists don’t fit
a five/seven/five format.
‘Twas a poor idea.