You know the drill.

 Unless you don’t know the drill. Okay, real quick. My name is Bill, and in 2011, I made a New Year’s Resolution that 90% of the films I watched would be films that I hadn’t seen before. After that experiment was a success, I joked that next year I would have to only watch movies that I had seen before. Then I read an article by Robert Fure on Film School Rejects that joked that watching Top Gun every week is good for your health. I decided to put that joke to the test every week of 2012. I brought along three friends for comparison, who also had to pick movies that they didn’t love, but didn’t hate, to watch every week for a year. They’ve got High FidelityThe Truman Show, and Spider-Man 3, though the one watching Spider-Man 3 missed a week due to a DVD/Blu-Ray mix-up and her branch of the experiment has been discontinued due to contamination. As my own personal way of keeping track of how the constant stream of Top Gun is affecting me, I keep notebooks in order to jot down moments in which my behavior seems to be related to the film. At the end of each week, I type up a results page, like the one you’re reading now, which frequently consists of an opening line, a picture of my current notebook, some sort of punchline, a brief introduction to the week’s notes, the notes themselves, then a final analysis of the effects of Top Gun on my behavior so far. Oh, and if you put your mouse over the picture, sometimes a funnier joke pops up.

Now that I’ve won the Cinema 52 contest for Longest Photo Caption, let’s get busy, child.

Aug. 19, 2012
10:28am EST – Becca texted to tell me she’d be home late. Heard: “Don’t you leave me, Maverick.”

10:52am EST – Run-D.M.C.’s version of the Ghostbusters theme stuck in head, which turned into “Lead Me On.”

8:53pm EST – Somebody at work said, “Yo!” just like Iceman. Pictured Kilmer eatin’ a snack and grabbin’ his envelope.

Aug. 20, 2012
7:47am EST – Was talking about sex with Becca. Thought of Ray “Secks” Seckinger from the credits of Top Gun.

Yes, I remember names from the credits and recall them in my daily life.

12:06pm EST – A friend commented on the passing of Tony Scott by simply saying, “Christ.” Thought of Jester saying, “Jesus Christ!”

Aug. 21, 2012
2:17pm EST – Typed “Holy shit!” and thought of Wolfman shouting, “Holy shit, it’s Viper!”

11:19pm EST – Listening to the Season of the Witch episode of How Did This Get Made? The panel was talking about Black Plague doctors and their beak masks (which none of them realized were a real thing and not just a goofy decision by the costume department). Thought of the guy in the background of the flight status scene with that thing over his face. What the fuck is happening there?

If you know what’s going on, shoot me a tweet.

Aug. 23, 2012
6:20pm EST – Lady in a news story said, “I just don’t know.” Thought of Jester being unsure about accompanying Maverick into battle.

Aug. 24, 2012
2:41am EST – Was thinking of getting my coffee with an espresso shot. Almost said “missile shot” instead.

Actually wanted a whiskey shot.

11:54am EST – Someone at work said “excellent” and I thought of Stinger saying “Exocet anti-ship missile.” That’s a new one.

Aug. 25, 2012
11:31pm EST – Some lady on the news was complaining about the fuel wasted at air shows just for the sake of entertainment and promoting war. Wondered how she must feel about Top Gun. Pictured the engine burn-out at the end, which was accomplished by actually dumping fuel out of the plane (as I learned from the commentary).

And yet she doesn’t care how many faceless enemy pilot actors were wasted.


I’m going to do a complete analysis of this in a later article, but I would like to point out that only one result this week was music-related. Listening to Bon Jovi, Van Halen, and Oingo Boingo after every viewing seems to be getting the Top Gun soundtrack out of my memory. Your mileage may vary as to whether or not that’s preferable.

If I may tease future events, I’m planning on diluting the visual aspects of the film with an Iron Eagle marathon. Yes, all four. But not every week. Good Lord.

Guide me home, Lou.