WHEN: 11:27am EST, July 1st, 2012

WHERE: My apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: I was joined by Mr. Matt Selva, the image manipulation wizard behind our site’s kick-ass posters; Mr. Philip Hobby, some guy I watch Family Ties with sometimes; and Cinemanaut Mr. John Scribner. We made mimosas.

Matt and Phil have never seen Top Gun, so let’s fire up the prediction machine.


If you couldn’t watch the video, here’s a summary.

I don’t Photoshop. I MS Paint.


  • I’ve decided for this viewing to not write down ALL the reactions, because we’re all huge MST3K fans, and transcribing every single joke you make during a movie in text form is both exhausting to type and a pretty lame read. So, sorry, Science, you’re taking a backseat to Effective Comedy this week.
  • 11 minutes into Top Gun, I caught an unusually quiet John watching High Fidelity on his iPhone with earbuds. What a sneaky devil. Read his version of this Cinema 52 Secret Crossover Event here.
  • We all agree that Michael Ironside’s main purpose in being cast was to lend some credibility to the film.
  • Phil was out of the room on a phone call for a good 36 minutes.
  • Matt really wanted me to note that Maverick has Captain Kirk mini-sideburns. So here you go, Matt.
  • I told Matt that Kelly McGillis is wearing a hat to hide that fact that she’d dyed her hair. When I told him they also had to cover up her dye job in the sex scene, he asked: “Same hat?”
  • Matt: “They have a bulletin board in the bathroom? That must be the soggiest, nastiest bulletin board ever.”
  • Matt: “Why are they playing ‘Danger Zone’? This isn’t the danger zone! It’s just training.”
    John: “Well, training is the highway to the danger zone.”
    Matt: “Touché.”
  • Matt: “It seems like they took An Officer and a Gentleman and just made it manlier.”
    Me: “By adding men.”
    Matt: “Yes! More men!”
    Me: “You know what men like? Men.”
  • Matt: “Tom Cruise has windblown teeth.”


If you want to read it, last week’s viewing is linked right here on this link I’m pointing at. You can’t link to webpages through YouTube, Matt. Here’s Becca if you want to click her.

For all of Matt’s implications that we will not be able to have any new thoughts at this point in the experiment, never once did I consider the impracticality of having a bulletin board next to the showers.

Plan of the Day: Move this board to literally any other room.

To me, this is what makes the experiment fascinating: movies, memory, age, the human mind. It all comes together at Cinema 52. At this point, I must have seen Top Gun more times than my all-time childhood favorite film, Back to the Future. And yet, I still remember more and have a greater number of questions about small background details in Back to the Future. Is liking the movie the deciding factor? Is it my age? I can remember lines from the goddamn Flintstones movie better than I can lines from Taxi Driver; is it just because I saw one at age 9 and the other at age 25? (I even asked a real human child about this phenomenon a few months ago, and he didn’t know.) Should the camp at the end of Fahrenheit 451 been full of children? What if Johnny Mnemonic was a toddler? What if Cinema 52 causes actual brain damage?

Son of a Brachiosaurus.