In brightest day, in blackest night…

These Top Gun thoughts completely bite.

Fear not, Junior Movie Science Cadets. With willpower, we’ll make it through. Wait, what’s this “we” shit? You’re not watching Top Gun 52 times. Or are you? Let me know if that’s the case.

Here’s what Top Gun‘ll do to you after 15 weeks.

Apr. 8, 2012
5:29pm EST – Watching Tenacious D’s “To Be the Best.” Val Kilmer’s in it. Thought of the “wingman any time” scene.

5:50pm EST - A severe case of diarrhea made me think of “raging fire” from “Mighty Wings,” a song very similar to a severe case of diarrhea.

I apologize for this obscene image.

Apr. 10, 2012
8:06am EST – “Danger Zone” stuck in head while doing laundry. (DZ alarm just went off at 8.)

11:18am EST – Spotted the logo for Top Guns (the porno) near the TV. Thought of Cougar’s wings sliding across the table.

5:44pm EST – While trying to think of pilots I could talk to, Iceman flashed through my mind. Because he’s a pilot I could talk to. Yup.

9:30pm EST – Said, “That’s not right,” while editing video at work. Thought of Maverick saying, “Come off high right.”

Basically what video editing is like.

10:12pm EST – Still have the Goose death scene hop in my head. Iceman saying, “I’m off! Shit!” this time.

Apr. 11, 2012
4:22pm EST – Bill: “How was your day?”
Becca: “Long.”
Bill: “And distinguished? I… I should count that.”

Apr. 12, 2012
12:21am EST – Talking to Ty in his car. Pensively looked out the window and stroked mustachey patch above lip. Realized I was mimicking Viper as I pondered the fate of my squadron.

More of a finger suck than a mustache stroke, really.

12:47am EST – Trying to think of a road trip playlist. “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” stuck in head before I realized, “Shit.”

6:56pm EST – “Mighty Wings” stuck in head immediately after viewing.

8:29pm EST – Watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, “The Allegiance.” Crusher talks about not sleeping with Picard because it’s unprofessional. Thought of Charlie and Mav. Said, “This reminds me… of… a movie I saw today. Okay, count it.”

Apr. 13, 2012
8:56pm EST – “Playing With the Boys” stuck in head after watching my aviator sunglasses video.

1:01pm EST – Watching Mythbusters, “Viral Hour.” Tory says that goats are laughing at him. Thought of Slider saying, “That was me laughing, dickhead.”

Yes, searching for “Tory goat costume” yields mostly pictures of Kari Byron. Nice work, Internet.

10:51pm EST – Watching Scream with John. Wondered how Ghostface got across the garage so fast. Thought of how Charlie gets across the bar so fast at the end of Top Gun.

Apr. 14, 2012
6:06pm EST – While considering applying for a new job, pictured Stinger saying, “Where do you think you wanna go?”


At this point, I’ve just become Viper. And really, you could do worse in this movie.

Like Mav or Goose. No, not the tray guy. He’s awesome.

I suppose I’m the only one in this experiment who’s starting to take on the traits of a movie character. I mean, unless you think writing depressing journal entries in the name of authenticity is like emo Peter Parker. But nobody thinks that.

“I am the living embodiment of fun!”

As a side result, I’ve noticed I don’t talk to myself as much any more. I now stare into the distance, sometimes out of a window, and have a good think about how to keep things in line. Aside from the sweet ‘stache and bitchin’ hat, that’s Viper.

Now, I’m not egotistical enough to think that I am anything like him, only that I’m patterning my life after him lately. I’m not the first or the best at anything, and I’m certainly not in any position of power as a result (being Top… Dog… around here is merely a result of Cinema 52 being my idea; also, holy shit, almost got myself there). But I admire Viper. I would like to be like him someday. And what are movies besides replacements of holy texts filled with ideas on how to live your life?

And kickass dogfights, obviously.

“Please turn to Hop 31, Verse 8.”