Can we all please have a round table discussion about how I totally got the shaft on this one? Ladies and gentlemen, I totally got the shaft on this one.
Anyway, I do not have the seething hatred that many have for this film, given that I am not really a Spider-Man fan as a whole. I take excessive glee in bad sci-fi, horror, and super hero films, and my joy does not lessen with a higher budget and/or more fanfare for the film. I mean, I guess I am saying that Spider-Man 3 is right up my alley. But all of the things that people hate about it are also things I hate. I fully understand why it has not only pissed off a bunch of devoted fans, but has also grown to be seen as an all-around wreck of a movie on all levels.
That being said, I have pleasant memories laughing at the ridiculousness of it when I saw it in theaters, so that’s nice. I have not seen it since.
My predictions:
1) I think it will make me even more cemented in my preference for DC, as Spider-Man seems to embody all that bugs me about Marvel, and this movie embodies all that bugs me about Spider-Man. The only moment of Spider-Man comics I’ve ever enjoyed is when he swoops into the courtroom in a She-Hulk comic, and I probably only enjoyed it because I was reading a comic about a bombastic, drunk, green lady.
2) I think I will secretly develop a perverse kind of love for it? I mean, not secretly right now because of the words I am currently writing. But it will be a secret later, when I have gone mad from over-exposure to Tobey Maguire eyeliner, not-so-subtle jingoism, and Topher Grace snarkiness, and I am homeless puttering around the sad streets of Portland muttering, “With great strength comes great SHUT UP,” when no one calls me Nancy anymore because I have written “Dr. Otto Octavius” on all of my clothes… then, I will tell no one of the density of my Gollum-like love.
3) I also predict that the latter half of Prediction #2 (above) will happen. But that goes without saying.
Hell of a year ahead of all of us. I will try to keep my jealousy of the other three at bay. But I probably won’t try very hard. Because I have to watch Spider-Man 3 once a week for a year.
