WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: None.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Tired, trying to cram this in before work.

So, if you thought I was freaking out when I saw my first DeLorean, you’ll never guess how much I lost it when a certain somebody came strolling through my city just four days later…

Tony’s Donut Shop, located in scenic Portland, ME. And Michael J. Fox, located in picturesque My Childhood.

No, I never ran into him, though I did type up a couple mildly desperate tweets before I knew that the poor guy was in town for a funeral. I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Fox.

Needless to say, when I sat down for my weekly viewing of Back to the Future as mandated by the Cinema 52 project, I had Michael on the brain and figured it was time to analyze his work as Marty McFly. Yet, as much as he is a central part of the film, it’s difficult for me to break down his performance. I’m going to level with you: I don’t really know how to talk about acting.

WHEN: 6:54 pm EST, April 25th, 2013

WHERE: The living room of my apartment in Portland

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: None

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: I’m eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream because the weather here has become ice cream weather.

THOUGHTS:

Imagine this: Earth is on the brink of destruction. Earthquakes and tornadoes are destroying the land and wiping out populations. However, chance has it that there is a super-genius from Iowa who can put an end to all of this. The genius appears at your top secret lab and it turns out that he’s a twelve-year-old boy. Wouldn’t you want to see some credentials?

You must be at least this tall to apply for this quest.

Atreyu pulls this bullshit and succeeds. But who is he, really? We know next to nothing about him, yet he’s the protagonist of The Neverending Story, Fantasia’s “only hope.” What are his origins? Who sends a twelve-year-old to save the world? We join Atreyu on his journey and become attached and swept away with his suffering and his success. Why don’t we know more about him, and is it important to find out?

WHEN: 1:00pm EST, May 1, 2013 (give or take some trailers)

WHERE: A completely empty theater at the Cinemagic Grand in South Portland, Maine

FORMAT:  3D digital projection.

COMPANY: None.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Somewhat glad to be done with all this.

ONE LAST TIME:

It was an odd experience sitting in the empty theater on the next to last day of Jurassic Park‘s 3D run. It has been great having the opportunity to see a film I love so much up on the big screen, even if there is a distracting extra dimension in the mix. But it’s over now. The film, though briefly brought back from cinematic extinction, is now returning to the realm of home video. I have now seen Jurassic Park in theaters more times than any other movie. The charm of having it encompass nearly my entire field of vision has not yet worn off, though paying $10 or more each week for it has.

But, judging by the completely empty theater, the appeal to people who don’t have to watch the movie every week has faded completely.  Even the man responsible for collecting the 3D glasses seemed to have forgotten about this showing. I had to seek him out, behind the concession counter, after the movie. He took them with a scowl, and I was not thanked for visiting his cinema. The meteor had hit, the sun had been blocked out. All that was left was for JP3D to curl up and die. By attending this showing, I felt as though I was only prolonging the inevitable.

Like this Triceratops, Jurassic Park was brought back from the dead, but didn’t stay healthy for long.

After over a month watching this film in theaters, I occasionally catch myself asking: was it worth re-releasing Jurassic Park in theaters? The following are some thoughts, which may or may not be relevant.

WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: None.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Groggy, eating a chicken salad sandwich and drinking a beer.

If you’ve been reading a lot of my Time Out articles, you’re probably aware that I hate magic time travel. You know, somebody owns a magic mailbox or falls into a magic moat or… just really, really, really wants to go back in time and wishes for it really, really, really hard.

This is my one exception.

No, I want my time travel to involve lab coats and goggles and machines. Wonderful, beautiful machines. Machines that operate on rules. Scientific time travel doesn’t run on emotions. There are numbers and logic and diagrams. Oh, those wonderful diagrams! While magic time travel is busy tugging on your heartstrings and ignoring your brainstrings, scientific time travel is governed by unbreakable laws and doesn’t yield to the power of love.

Which brings me to why Back to the Future is totally magic time travel.

Explain this bullshit.

WHEN: 12:40 pm EST, April 20th, 2013

WHERE: The living room of my apartment in Portland

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: None

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Eating some delicious lunch. I also feel motivated since I just did a bunch of housework. And I have caffeine to join me on this viewing.

THOUGHTS:

I’ve mentioned before that my viewing habits as a kid were not monitored all too well. As a result, I frequently slept on the couch instead of my bed because the living room was brighter. Wee Becca reasoned that nightmares occurred due to closed doors and rooms with closets. Also, no bed meant no place for monsters to hide.

Stop confirming my fears, Howie Mandel.

Despite the numerous horror movies I watched, the one film that consistently gave me nightmares was The NeverEnding Story. All because of G’mork. I loved the film so much that I would endure the terror anyways. I always made sure that I watched during the day and when the scenes with G’mork were on screen, I covered my eyes and hummed to myself. My mother found this hilarious and not a cause for concern.

G’mork is fucking scary, guys. He’s after Atreyu and his goal is to kill our hero. Probably with his sharp, gnashing teeth. Probably by ripping out Atreyu’s throat and tearing his belly open so that he can feast on the gooey innards. Probably hungering to snap the bones to lick out the marrow with vicious aplomb. These are the places my mind goes because of G’mork. So, I’ve decided that it’s time to face my fears and learn more about my nightmarish foe.

WHEN: 3:30pm EST, April 24, 2013 (give or take some trailers)

WHERE: The Cinemagic in Westbrook, Maine

FORMAT:  3D digital projection.

COMPANY: My friend Phil, and two other theatergoers.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE:  Went in tired of Jurassic Park in 3D, but ended up thoroughly enjoying myself.

RICHARD KILEY:

The late Richard Kiley was a respected Broadway actor, known for his rich sonorous voice. But in the fictional world of Jurassic Park, he is also one of the privileged few who know about a secret island of dinosaurs. Is this a face you can trust?

“Don’t worry, I didn’t win two Tonys for being a blabbermouth.”

I bring this up because the months leading up to the opening of the park are a sensitive time, and secrecy is key. Government interference, industrial espionage, and poorly timed media buzz could all result from an information leak. How well is InGen hiding their tremendous achievement?

Hi, Junior Movie Science Cadets. For this week’s Back to the Future viewing, I thought I’d try something different, but only to gain a better understanding of Doc Brown. See, when Doc meets Marty, he has a limited amount of time to learn all about their lives up until 1985, particularly in regards to the night of the first temporal experiment, which he has portions of on videotape. This means that Doc has to “accidentally” send Marty back to 1955 in this new timeline, except now he knows it’s going to happen; still, he has to replicate every event perfectly so as not to cause further paradoxes.

With this in mind, I thought I would read my viewing entry from last year’s corresponding week of the Top Gun experiment and immediately try to recreate the conditions of that moment, but instead of a future teenage friend of mine interfering, this time it’s a different movie. How difficult is it to retrace your steps? Feel free to open that link in another tab and compare.

Here we go…

WHEN: 4:46am EST, April 20, 2013

WHERE: My apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: Becca asleep in the other room, not really paying attention

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Eating cereal, no pants, groggy, didn’t have any dreams last night, no back pain, mostly just trying to get this over with

REACTIONS OF NOTE:

• Nothing in Back to the Future makes me think of New Hampshire. I’m from New Hampshire.
• I hate when the characters in a movie can’t see an aircraft just because it’s out of frame (see: the helicopters at the end of GoldenEye). The helicopter that flies over the clock tower does not exploit this trope, I think.
• I groan at Marty’s use of the word “heavy.” Is he trying to impress someone? Is he trying to tell bodybuilders, “I’m one of you”?
• Who else lives in Hill Valley? What’s living there like? I’d investigate if it were a real place.
• Marty looks like a creep when he stares at those aerobics ladies because every guy looks like a creep when he stares at aerobics ladies.

“Join me for intercourse.”

WHEN: 3:30pm EST, April 17, 2013 (give or take some trailers)

WHERE: The Cinemagic in Westbrook, Maine

FORMAT:  3D digital projection.

COMPANY: My brother Matt, about 6 other theatergoers.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE:  A little worn out.

Watching Jurassic Park in 3D is a bit of a novelty, but after three viewings in this format, its effect is wearing off. After critiquing the 3D and having some fun dressing up, I’m ready to get away from  discussing the viewing format, and get back to the film. It’s a good thing too, because I just noticed that Muldoon got left behind, and no one seems to care.

“They left me behind? Clever assholes.”

WHERE: In the living room of my apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: Adam Ferguson, who, if you recall from my last viewing with him, evolves into Adam Fergizard upon a second viewing with me. Congratulations, Fergizard.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Just woke up, eating some tortellini, glad I could convince Adam to stick around after he had just finished watching The NeverEnding Story with Cinemanaut Becca.

Alright, I went into this Back to the Future viewing with the sole purpose of analyzing the most famous landmark in Hill Valley: the clock tower.

Ahh, the “Death Star’s thermal exhaust port” of time travel.

If you haven’t seen this movie in a while (a predicament I have never found myself in, especially this year), the basic story significance of the tower is that it was struck by lightning at exactly 10:04pm on November 12th, 1955, which stopped all of its timekeeping mechanisms. Following this lightning strike, it was never repaired, for reasons unknown to us, but in 1985, the Hill Valley Preservation Society is determined to keep the clock broken as a historical relic. When Marty McFly accidentally finds himself in 1955, this event on November 12th is a key factor in his return to 1985, as the time machine that brought him to the past requires a staggering 1.21 gigawatts of electricity to do it’s thing, and this lightning bolt is powerful enough to get the job done.

Everybody got that? Good. First question…

WHEN: 6:20 pm EST, April 9th, 2013

WHERE: The living room of my apartment in Portland

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: Adam Ferguson

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Chock-full of dinner. Also excited to have company for a viewing.

THOUGHTS:

There are some characters in The NeverEnding Story who maintain their childhood charm. Then there’s Falkor. Falkor, as a child, was fucking awesome. He was a luck dragon with characteristics of a sweet doggy companion. He saved Atreyu from the Swamps of Sadness, brought the hero to the Southern Oracle, and transported him to the Ivory Tower when it looked like Fantasia was a complete loss. And he can fly.

Luck dragon in the sky, I can go twice as high. Take a look, you fell in a book…

Now that I’m older, Falkor is a confusing character. The luck dragon has so much potential, but I’m left questioning his role. Who is he working for? Why is he so creepy? Why is he helping Atreyu? Is he really lucky? Falkor is a luck dragon without any clear motivation, leaving me disappointed and unsatisfied with how much he changes through the eyes of an adult.

Why is it that every time someone joins me for a viewing, I feel awkward as soon as Falkor opens his mouth? It’s not the shoddy puppetry, but the lines he says and the delivery that voice actor Alan Oppenheimer gives. Falkor sounds like he routinely offers young boys candy and rides in his windowless van.