Alright, Junior Movie Science Cadets, you’re probably wondering just what the heck’s around the corner for ol’ Cinema 52 in 2014. Well, you can stop sending us letters, flowers, and soiled undergarments, because we’re about to give you the skinny right frickin’ now.
As you may be aware, the Cinema 52 experiment is a three-year process, in which the subjects are forced to watch one movie every week for a year and document their fluctuating levels of sanity. The first year’s category was Movie You Don’t Love, But Don’t Hate. Bill, John, and Ty kicked that in the buttcheeks, but we lost a Cinemanaut along the way. Year Two is Movie You Love; Bill, John and Ty all returned, and we added on Becca to get a fresh perspective on the agony of too much of a good thing. We’re all still in the middle of 52 weeks of our beloved movies, but fast-approaching is the dreaded Year Three…
Movie You Hate.
Are we all really prepared for this gruesome task? I’ll cut to the chase: nope!
It is with a heavy heart that we announce Cinemanaut Becca will not be returning to Cinema 52 next year. We’ve all enjoyed her many articles on The NeverEnding Story and hope you have as well, and we will miss her big delicious brain around here. She’ll be fully committing herself to grad school like a responsible adult and won’t have the time to watch and analyze White Chicks for a year, but since she’s had so much fun watching a horse drown every week, we’re sure she’s absolutely heartbroken about leaving.
Becca promises to check in every so often and submit an article here and there, but for the most part, we’re releasing her into the wild and wish her all the best. You can always tweet her to your little heart’s content (@BeccaBascom) and maybe she’ll remember Twitter is a thing and tweet you back.
So, once we dry clean her Cinemanaut suit, we’ll need to stuff another body into it, and we think we’ve found just the man for the job… friend-of-the-site and frequent viewing companion Adam Ferguson.
Pictured: a soul yet to be crushed.
Adam is an actor, comic book shop employee, and, most importantly, knows at least one thing about every movie ever made. He’s already seen the ways the other Cinemanauts attempt to cope with the repetitive madness of the experiment and has drawn up Kevin McCallister-esque battle plans to handle whatever movie is thrown at him.
And speaking of throwing movies at people, what are we watching next year? Well, that’s up to YOU.
(That’s where you point at yourself and say, “Who, me?” Go ahead.)
Yes, you! Voting for what we’re watching next year begins on September 1st, 2013, which, holy shit, is coming right up. We’re not gonna tell you what they are yet, but each Cinemanaut has picked three movies that really stick in their respective craws, and you’ll get to fill out your ballot with the four flicks you’d like to see drive them up a wall for a whole year. You can vote once every day in September, then voting officially closes on October 1st. Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Make people up, then tell them!
Welp, that’s about it for updates. See you– WHOA! HOLD THE PHONE! MORE?
Yeah, that’s right. Say hello to the newest member of the Cinema 52 family: James Spizuoco.
Pictured: James Spizuoco.
James is a comedian and all-around not-evil guy from our neck of the woods. No, we’re not taking on a new Cinemanaut… James is going to be our first Lab Rat. He pitched us an idea for a regular monthly Fake Movie Science experiment and it was so good that we had to lock him in a cage in our underground laboratory and teach him how to use WordPress. We’re not going to tell you what we’re inflicting on him just yet, but trust us, there’s a good chance you’ll love it. Like, clingy, smothering love.
Hey, have you got an idea for a Fake Movie Science experiment? What exactly does that mean? Whatever you want it to! (That “fake” part helps.) Wanna watch nothing but James Bond movies all year? Attempt to ask out a date using only lines from Road House? Review… Star Trek movies… in a mirror, maybe, sure, yes, fuck it, that one? Those are just dumb examples, but if think you’ve got a great idea for a one-shot article or an ongoing column, pitch your idea to email@example.com and our panel of Cinemanauts will assess its comedic, cinematic, and scientific potential. Oh, and if it’s something particularly excruciating, keep in mind that you don’t want to start your experiment until after we’ve given it our thumbs of approval.
Okay, you may go now. Bye! Don’t forget to take some potato salad. No, keep the container, we won’t even miss it.