WHEN: 9:10pm EST, March 16th, 2013

WHERE: In my apartment in Portland, ME

FORMAT:  Blu-Ray on a Vizio 47″ LCD HDTV

COMPANY: Adam Ferguson and my roommate Ben

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Tired out from watching movies all day. Little desire to take notes of any kind.

A MORE EFFICIENT METHOD:

This week I had the opportunity of viewing the film with the illustrious Adam Ferguson, and he made an interesting point regarding Jurassic Park’s feeding methods. You see, when the raptors are fed, a cow is lowered down into their enclosure using a complex crane-and-harness system.

Cow Harness

One of Jurassic Park’s few bovine rides.

This seems quite logical, since they need to feed the raptors, but as we saw at the beginning of the film, it is simply not safe to open their cage at ground level. Lowering food in from above makes perfect sense. Well, were it not for this…

Cow Harness Destroyed

By this point, the cow has decided not to endorse the park.

Apparently, in their haste to enjoy their meal, the raptors have torn the harness to shreds; not just the fabric, but the metal rods too. I’d assume the raptors have to be fed at least once daily, possibly more. I also assume that the raptors are typically this violent with their cow delivery system. I hope Hammond is buying those rigs wholesale, because that makes for a whole lot of broken harnesses.

Unfortunately for Hammond, he isn’t employing Adam Ferguson, who came up with a much simpler solution. Just drop the cow into the cage. It’s not as though the fall will be any more painful than being torn apart by some of the most violent creatures the world has ever known.

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“Glad to help,” says the version of Adam I imagine working for Hammond.

THE HELICOPTER QUANDARY:

Adam also makes the excellent observation that the helicopter arrives to pick everyone up mere minutes after Hammond calls it. Was it just hovering off shore? It surely couldn’t have gotten there from the mainland that quickly.

Helicopter sunset

Not pictured: a helipad close-by.

Oh well, probably just another case of sloppy writing for the sake of convenience.

A NEW PAIR OF EYES:

I’ve seen Jurassic Park 10 times this year without thinking about either of these little details, not to mention the many times I saw the movie prior to the start of the experiment. It never ceases to amaze me how little of a film our brains absorb, even given repeated viewings. Were it not for Adam’s fresh perspective, I might never have really thought about either of these interesting (albeit relatively minor) elements of the film.

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“Glad to help,” says the version of Adam I imagine standing creepily behind me as I write.