WHEN: November 17th, 9:20pm EST, 2012

WHERE: Number 1

FORMAT: DVD via my Xbox on Teletraan 1

COMPANY: None, I am in my room alone.


  • I think the most enjoyable part of this movie now is the previews.
  • I like to think I am watching a different movie.
  • The talk about speaking Jive in Airplane! fills me with hope that I could have put in a different movie that I would enjoy a lot more.
  • The main selection screen crushes those hopes.
  • If you look at any shot of Seahaven from the air, there are no buildings that would require an elevator.
  • There are no tall buildings at all, but we do see some massive ones when Truman is at their base.
  • Also, where is the college when we see the full shot of Seahaven?
  • I am starting to think the model is inaccurate.
  • Truman would have found the outer wall of the dome if he had hugged the coastline instead of going out to sea.
  • He did not pack supplies.
  • If Truman was not being watched by people, he would have killed himself through starvation out at sea.


A thought occurred to me this viewing: Jim Carrey is kind of attractive. No, I am not starting to have Stockholm syndrome, but as far as the spectrum of attractive people runs, he would not be at the ugly end. He is attractive enough to act in Hollywood. That is the thrust of what I am saying… Anyway, Mr. Carrey, being the liquid sex that he is, does not even fall into the category of “unattractive yet marketable” that some actors and actresses fall into. For example, Jonah Hill before he lost the weight.

John Candy RebornI was going to say Chris Farley but Hill will do.

The thing with reality TV is that you never really see anyone that is not “Hollywood Attractive,” as I have come to call it. Think about every reality TV show that is not a game show. That turns out to be The Real World, Jersey Shore, and, well, really anything that is not The Biggest Loser. No one is anything approaching overweight. There could be an argument that Snooki is not a picture of physical perfection for a human being, but that means you are counting it as a human. I am not.

The longer you stare, the more unsettled you feel.

The point is that “reality” stars (as well as most of the people working in the entertainment business) are people that the Average Joe (or someone attracted to animals) would like to fuck. Jim Carrey during the time the movie was being made was someone a lot of women would probably have considered fucking. If Truman was stuffing his face full of lard-covered lard balls, would he still be popular? No. I think not.

When we watch televison, we normally want to see someone who is attractive. Someone who is drastically overweight is not attractive. Yes, I do know there are some people who like extra meat and to have “more cushion for the pushin'” but they are not the majority of people. Television works by trying to have the broadest appeal as to attain the biggest audience. That is why you saw so many “of Love” shows on VH1.

Flavor of Love was the classier show.

Movies are the same. If a particular type of movie works, more are going to be made so everyone can cash in on the phenomena. Why do you think there was an explosion of superhero movies starting in the 2000s? They sold. Along that line, a guaranteed seller is sex. Sex sells. Sexy people sell things. We all want sex. Sex, sex, sexy sex. All the time, get some. Sex. Or a blowy, you know, whatever you are feeling like. That is the reason why everyone who was in the Twilight movies was cast. Do you think the casting agent wanted Kristen Stewart or Taylor Lautner because of their acting talent? Wrong. They were cast because teenagers would furiously masturbate to thoughts of them at night when they thought there parents were asleep.

Fap, fap, fap…

I once worked at a summer camp for kids. Once, a young girl told me she would do anything to get Mr. Lautner, and watched that second movie only for him. When I informed her he acted better in Sharkboy and Lavagirl (yes, I saw it) she replied with, “I don’t care if he can not act, he is… just look at him!” I immediately dropped the topic, not wanting to inadvertently find out about the nocturnal habits of a girl not older than 13. I also took several scalding hot showers to try and scrape away the feeling of coming close to knowing the nocturnal habits of said girl.

It did not work and still haunts me to this day.

The point I am trying to make is that we want to wrap ourselves in media that is made by or stars people we want to have hot monkey pig sex with. If Truman was over 400 lbs, and could only wear two sheets stitched together, the show would not be successful. If he was unattractively overweight, the show would not work. Not even in its fictional universe where it does work.

For the record, I have nothing against anyone who is overweight. I am simply speaking about a trend that I have noticed and had formed a hypothesis about. This is more a statement on the media and entertainment we all enjoy so much. I do stand behind Snooki being tagged and put into a research facility to have experiments done on. No real human being could act like her or the other “people” on Jersey Shore.