WHEN: 8:10pm EST, August 6th, 2012

WHERE: A stranger’s house. Don’t know if it has any nicknames, but since she works for a magazine, I’ll call it the Scoop Nest.

FORMAT: DVD on a Vizio 37″ LED HDTV through a Toshiba SD-1800 DVD player

COMPANY: Ali Donahue, columnist for Dispatch Magazine. Ali and I did not know each other before this viewing, so count it!

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PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Pretty damn good. Had a pleasant walk over to Ali’s place while listening to the How Did This Get Made? podcast for the Lance Bass movie On the Line, tried to think of some rules for a drinking game. Oh, yeah…

THE RULES:

  • 1 drink any time someone says “Mav” or “Maverick”
  • 1 drink any time “Danger Zone” or “Take My Breath Away” plays
  • 1 drink for any homoerotic glances between characters
  • Finish your drink when Air Boss Johnson shouts “I want some butts!”

Journalism tip: always get your interview subjects loaded. And put it on the company tab.

LIQUID WING MAN: Coors Light.

BEER-INFUSED REACTIONS OF NOTE:

  • The movie seems a bit sped up this time around. Actually, quite a bit. Anybody out there with a Toshiba SD-1800 want to weigh in on this?
  • “Overact Nation” is Ali’s family’s nickname for Tom Cruise. As it should be.

“Sorry, Carole, that one just snuck out.”

  • I realized this time around just how quickly they let the audience know that Maverick is full-on hetero. As soon as he lands, the fact that he fucked an admiral’s daughter is mentioned immediately.
  • Apparently I must watch Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles: Vampire Protocol. Ali had pneumonia as a young one and only had so many movies to watch. Guess that one got the most viewings.
  • Maverick says his own name when he’s all alone. I almost want to upgrade all self-inflicted name drops to a double drink.
  • We differed on a longing look from Slider. Ali won. Alphabetically. Coors Light Logic.
  • We took two drinks for the love bite. We had to.

You understand.

  • Overact Nation big time for the Sundown argument.
  • Ali says I need to see Poison Ivy starring Tom Skerritt. She watched it when she was in the hospital. I’m starting to wonder if she’s ever watched a movie healthy.
  • I feel like Tom Cruise looked in the mirror every night and became Maverick. Kilmer didn’t give a shit.
  • Ali recommends The Faculty. Just because it’s bad.
  • The most embarrassing moment in Ali’s life was watching Grease 2. On the TV Guide Channel. At 1am. Sober. The whole movie. This is just important to note.

What are these romantic lead photo shoots like?

THE FINAL TALLY:
According to my probably-not-accurate-at-all notes, this drinking game will get you 37 drinks for each utterance of “Mav” or “Maverick,” 2 drinks for “Danger Zone,” 2 drinks for “Take My Breath Away,” 16 drinks for homoerotic glances, and 1 finished drink for Air Boss Johnson’s rump cravings. That’s 57 drinks total, plus an emptied glass.

IN MY DRUNKENNESS, THE THRILL OF SPEED:
Drink responsibly, Junior Movie Science Cadets. Know your limits. That being said, this drinking game could have used another rule or two. Strictly for the tallying fun, of course! (Cinema 52 is not responsible for your inability to tally safely.)

THOUGHTS:
For my money, the only way to conduct an interview is during a shitty movie while scarfing down mashed potato pizza and beer. Ali and I had a fantastic talk about the impact of movies while watching; indeed, Top Gun is a great flick for shooting the shit.

Since this was an interview about Cinema 52, we mostly talked about my past observations about Top Gun, so there’s no sense in repeating all this junk.

If you want to read this whole ordeal from Ali’s perspective, here’s her article.

I can neither confirm nor deny that she woke up on a bench in the morning.

TOP GUN DETOX BOX:
Immediately following the viewing, I listened to the entire Top Gun Detox Box on my walk home and while crashed on my futon. However, my iPod Shuffle (the fancy old fucker without a screen) played all of the songs alphabetically. I could not fix this, so I just let it rip; I started at “Dead Man’s Party” and didn’t turn off the iPod until it came back around again. So I did, in fact, listen to the entirety of Slippery When Wet, 1984, and Dead Man’s Party in an effort to drown out Kenny Loggins.

Call it overkill, but get “Danger Zone” stuck in your head for seven months and see how you feel.

The results of this musical experiment will be posted soon.