WHEN: 9:30PM EST, June 9, 2012

WHERE: At my apartment in Portland, ME (Alderaan)

FORMAT: DVD on a Vizio 47″ LCD HDTV


PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Exhausted from shoveling nearly a ton of crushed rock into a wheelbarrow. Headache. Slightly nauseous.


It has been over two months since I watched High Fidelity on a big screen, and I think that this has had a negative effect on my viewings. It is not out of any personal preference that I have been watching on a small screen, but out of a desire not to irritate my roommates, who have no doubt had just about enough High Fidelity in their lives this year. But tonight, with both roommates out of town, I settled down to watch 47 inches of Rob Gordon being a dick to women everywhere. (Did I just use 47 inches, Rob Gordon, and dick in the same sentence? Yes. Yes I did.)

Repeated viewings have really been grinding me down. The moment the opening music started to play, I got a sensation down my spine that was akin to jumping into cold water. After a moment I’m acclimated, and mentally braced to sit through this, once again.

For quite some time, the one real bit of enjoyment I have received from this movie has been watching Jack Black. But this time through, I made the shocking discovery that I’ve stopped smiling at Barry’s antics. I hadn’t even noticed that I had stopped laughing, but looking back, I think it must have tapered off about a month ago, and now he isn’t even eliciting a smile. He has faded into the background along with the rest of the movie, creating no positive force in my viewing experience. Only one thing in this movie really acts strongly upon me now…

Sarah Kendrew’s “#2 in a yellow circle shirt,” and Rob’s “#7 in a Yellow pie slice shirt.” What do they mean? Why do they both have light blue shirts with a number in a yellow shape on them? Was the costumer just being clever? Was there some neat back story? Should I even care? What does it mean?

An Artist’s Interpretation of Rob’s Shirt

I think I have almost all of the movie memorized on some level, but I lack the ability to recall all of it at will. What do I mean? Well, during the scene where Rob is telling Dick about his autobiographical method of album organization, I tried to remember what year he bought Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors in. And was unable to bring the year in question to mind. However, as the line where he says the year approached, and the surrounding dialogue jump started my memory, I was able to quote said line verbatim. I am sure that this is some normal memory thing, and all the hypothetical memory scientists reading this are yelling at their hypothetical screens about how stupid I am. Whatever.

In any event, the big screen was a nice change of pace, and really improved the quality of my viewing. So I suppose all I really need to do is find bigger and bigger screens to watch this movie on for the rest of the year. Surely this is a practical solution. It worked this time. I even had some observations about the movie, and stuff, and junk.


Dick is a dick. After Barry mistreats the nerd who just wanted to buy that Beefheart album, Dick quietly says, “Well played.” What a dick Dick is.

If Laura hadn’t gotten together with Ian, she probably could have broken free from Rob’s emotionally unstable clutches forever. If she had just gone and stayed at Liz’s for a little bit until she got her own place, Rob wouldn’t have gone all creepy stalker on her. He probably would have just been depressed and mopey for a little while, fucked Marie DeSalle, and kept fucking Marie DeSalle until Caroline Fortis showed up, and then he would have fucked her. Remember, he first finds out about Ian just as Marie comes into his store. Without that distraction of jealousy, it would have been full-on rebound relationship time, not just fuck and forget time as it eventually turned out to be. Without the pressure of Rob not stalking her, Laura probably wouldn’t have gone back to him after her dad’s death. Ian was Laura’s biggest blunder.

Rob uses the same line on all of his women. He will play a song. They will say it is good. Then he will say, like so much hipster Han Solo, “I know.” He uses it on Laura. He uses it on Caroline. He even uses it on that kind of dickish looking customer in his store. Just saying.

I know that Rob isn’t very appreciative of Laura’s idea for the record release party, but she probably should have talked to him before putting posters up all over the place claiming that he was going to return to DJing. I mean, what if he wasn’t up for it? I don’t know, I guess it was a nice gesture on her part and all, but I’d be kind of pissed too if someone forced me into a commitment like that.

That is all.