WHEN: 9:52am EST, May 18th, 2012

WHERE: My apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV

COMPANY: Nobody whatsoever.

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Just finished watching Hot Shots! “Dream Lover” stuck in head. Eating granola with something called “kefir.”


  • I will never stop thinking that the inverted dive looks like shit.
  • Not sure why, but my heart really went out to Charlie when Mav left her house. Probably because not getting sex sucks.
  • I was angry watching Mav and Charlie make out because I’ve had a cold sore all week.
  • I’m not thinking of Hot Shots! very much because this movie is kind of a parody of itself.
  • Okay, when Mav threw the dog tags into the ocean, I laughed about Topper throwing his dad’s eyes off of the aircraft carrier.

You never close your eyes anymore…

  • “Mighty Wings” reminds me of the Gremlins theme. I feel like I’ve mentioned this before.

So, I enjoyed the hell out of Hot Shots!, but it really didn’t make watching Top Gun that much more fun. I wondered if I should have watched them in the opposite order, so I could reward myself with a parody of the last two hours of my life, but think about it: sitting through Top Gun, thinking, “I bet they make fun of this,” but not actually knowing how? No, that also would have been ass.

To be honest, except for the dog tag throwing, I just kind of sat there, braindead, counting the minutes until Top Gun was over. I never knew that the movie I “don’t love but don’t hate” wouldn’t gravitate towards one emotion or the other, but grow stronger and stronger as a force of apathy, to the point where it is almost a complete non-entity.


Yeah, let’s end on that.