WHEN: 7:08am EST, April 4th, 2012

WHERE: My apartment in Portland, ME (Isla Nublar)

FORMAT: Blu-Ray on a Vizio 32″ LED HDTV, English subtitles on

COMPANY: Girlfriend Becca until she left for work at 7:22am EST

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: Very sleepy from staying up late to pull third shift at work tomorrow, really hot (our apartment is over the boiler and it’s been hot out when it should be cold)


Because I’m an authentically cheerful and authentically creative authentic person in an authentic experiment, I thought I’d have a little authentic fun this week!

While watching Top Gun (with the English subtitles on), I wrote down lines of dialogue that made me wonder: if I typed this into Google images, what’s the first picture that would come up? After finalizing a list of 30 phrases (and trying not to hum “Mighty Wings” once the credits ended), I hit the web.

Here are my findings. Please enjoy the collage-poem I simply call… “Top Google.”

cougar and merlin and maverick and goose

goose you see a trailer

lock up baby

pull up cougar

you guys are number one

don’t tease me

the elite

the tip of the spear must be sharp

they were abused children

i can hold my own


you know the finger

i want somebody’s butt

his fitness report says it all

tell me one thing

those guys are animals

fake block

mother goose you pussy

if you think you’re dead

multiple aircraft multiple bogeys

the temperature’s 110 degrees

viper’s coming down

jesus this guy’s good

ice fire or clear

hi it’s wolfman

look at you

so long pete mitchell

that spin was hell

we’ve lost hollywood

top gun

Aww yeah. Using art to make more art. Go show that to your creative writing professor or your depressed friend. See how their souls jiggle now.

Time to hit the slam circuit, my little ones.