WHEN: 8:44am EST, April 1st, 2012
WHERE: At John’s apartment in Portland, ME (Alderaan)
FORMAT: DVD on a Vizio 47″ LCD HDTV
PHYSICAL AND MENTAL STATE: I feel terrible, obviously. This is the worst thing EVER. Even my friends can’t help, JEEZ.
FOCUS OF THIS WEEK’S STUDY: How Much Top Gun Totally Blows
REACTIONS OF NOTE:
- Ugh, that damn shot of the horse riding into town. Screw you, Ray Nazarro.
- Yeah, Wyoming is a GREAT setting for action.
- I’m so sick of the melodramatic graveyard scene.
- What kind of name is Bat? So dumb.
- “I came back to a memory. This isn’t it.” I can’t take all this lame dialogue.
- They really piled on the gay subtext.
- It’s more upsetting when a white guy commits a crime? So racist. Top Gun is RACIST.
- Man, did they need to be SO macho during the bill of sale argument? Come on.
- I will never get used to Rod Taylor’s “American” accent.
But he’s still the best part of Top Gun.
- Ugh, thinking God’s on your side? IDIOTS. This is such a conservative movie.
- Was it that easy to frame people for murder back then? I just don’t buy it. I don’t know. I wasn’t alive when this movie was set. Or made. Heck, my Dad wasn’t either.
- Why would you bet on something that would affect so many lives? Don’t take that gamble, MORONS. *fart noises*
- *Groan.* Too much talk, not enough action.
- “By gravy!” Such a dated phrase now.
- Rick Martin is too sure of himself. How can you relate to this fucking guy? *eyeroll, guffaw, eyeroll the other way*
- The chick is not very pretty. Is she supposed to be? VOMIT.
- “Drop your belts.” Can’t see any double entendres THERE. (Movies are so dumb. Blaaaaarrrgh. I hate everything. Poop.)
- Tom Quentin is such an over-the-top villain. *complain*
- It’s like they were trying for a strong female character, but we’re still supposed to be impressed BECAUSE a woman could be so smart.
- I’m going to drink because I’m fun!
This movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. I wish Tim Robbins was in it.
YOU APRIL FOOLS!
Bill actually watched…
A 1955 Western also called Top Gun