When I decided to watch Top Gun right before bed, I wondered if this would affect my dreams, as I usually dream about whatever’s been going on in my life recently.

I was right.

While only partially involving characters from Top Gun, I thought I’d include the dream in its entirety, because that seems to be the trend around here.

Here we go!

The dream began with me watching a video that my friends Kevin and Elliot shot on a camcorder. The video is of a shed near the beach suddenly catching fire. Right before the roof collapses, Elliot runs out of the shed, narrowly avoiding death. Kevin stops the video and assures me that the whole thing was done with special effects. Suddenly, Viper from Top Gun approaches us, dressed like he normally is in the film, but without any medals. He quietly but firmly scolds Kevin and Elliot for destroying the shed, and if he sees any more shenanigans like that, they will be fired from their job cleaning up the beach. (I do not work at the beach. I’m just visiting them.) He says their punishment will be administered shortly. I’m suddenly at my apartment building. I enter my apartment and Kevin and Elliot are there, but so is Slider from Top Gun. He is dressed in modern, civilian clothes, so it takes me a while to discern this. Kevin informs me that they are being punished by having to take part in Bye Bye Birdie 52, where they have to listen to listen to the Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack every week for a year. Slider puts on headphones and looks very sad. Kevin tells me that they also have to drink raw eggs out of a cup, just like in Bye Bye Birdie (?). Elliot adds that it’s not so bad if you have something delicious to go with it, like a toasted sandwich. As he says this, Elliot suddenly shrinks to an inch tall and is trapped on the kitchen counter. Kevin almost kills him when he cracks an egg on the counter. Kevin and Slider have not noticed that Elliot has shrunk. I don’t say anything. Elliot sits on a spatula, which Kevin then uses to pop a sandwich into the toaster oven. Elliot, trapped in the oven, discovers a little girl; it’s Tina Yothers from Family Ties. Elliot says, “Hey, you’re that girl from that show on Nickelodeon.” Tina says, “I sure am!” and does a fist pump. I start to yell about how Family Ties wasn’t on Nickelodeon and drinking eggs is from Rocky. Then I begin to stir and-

*POP* I’m awake.

It sure is fun to listen to people retell their dreams, huh? Everybody finds it exciting!

“Please redefine ‘everybody.'”

Should you so give a shit, here’s a rundown of why most of the things in my head are in my head.

  • The camcorder is there because I just bought a camcorder.
  • Kevin and Elliot are there because I do improv with them every week as part of Portland Improv Experience.
  • The beach looked like a beach I went to as a kid.
  • I’m stumped on the shed fire.
  • Viper is from a movie I may have watched recently.
  • My apartment is the apartment I live in.
  • Kevin and Elliot often listen to music.
  • Slider is from the same movie as Viper, I’m pretty sure.
  • I have absolutely no clue what Bye Bye Birdie is doing in there. I think I saw part of it on TV when I was in middle school. It’s probably my brain wondering if this information will be relevant any more, if you subscribe to that whole “dreams are how your brain sorts information” idea.
  • Having to repeat a task 52 times a year is something on my mind lately, a feat one could consider a punishment. A self-inflicted punishment.
  • Drinking raw eggs is a plot point in Rocky, which I watched on November 27th, 2011.
  • I’ve been making toasted sandwiches at work for dinner. I had a conversation with a co-worker the night before this dream about how microwaved dinners get old fast and it’s nice to have a toaster oven in the break room.
  • Becca and I had a conversation about movies we watched over and over as children. One of hers was Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. This is probably why Elliot shrinks.
  • I’ve been trying to watch all of Family Ties before they take it off of Netflix. I am currently up to Season 2, Episode 9, “A Keaton Family Christmas.” Tina Yothers’s character is my second least favorite character on the show after Skippy Handleman.

Lest you think I hate all neighbor characters, I love Kramer and Urkel.

One thing I find interesting: I can’t seem to have a dream about Top Gun that doesn’t also involve Cinema 52. The last one involved somebody else getting recognition for Cinema 52 at a ceremony like at the end of Top Gun. (Strangely enough, it was a little girl much like Tina Yothers.) This one is similar, but it’s somebody else listening to an album every week for a year. I think this stems from both a) viewing the project as a punishment, or b) fear of rip-offs. If you subscribe to that whole “dreams are a window into your hopes and fears” idea.

Tell me more about this toaster oven.